I've been working with mostly the same crew for over two years. As would happen with anyone, there are some people I get along with better than others. One lady who has been there a long time is frequently annoyed by me though she puts on a false face of friendliness, and I try my best to be cordial and not get in her way, but the tension is always hanging in the air. I haven't hidden the fact that I'm on the Spectrum from my coworkers, but I don't bring it up all the time or anything. I assumed it had gotten around. Yesterday I discovered it hadn't.
I was discussing the news with another coworker in the break area where several people were congregated, and Russia's president was mentioned. "They think Putin's on the Autism Spectrum like me!" I blurted out, "He has Asperger's Syndrome too!" The moment the first statement came out of my mouth, the annoyed lady whipped around, and I could see the dawn of understanding on her face, and that old tension I always feel dissipated from the air. Later, I held the door for her when she had a big load, and she called me "Honey" when she thanked me. The way she regards me totally changed.
Why does the label matter? I wasn't diagnosed until I was 27, and the only things I had to go on were the labels "weird" and "too smart." Those don't get you any sympathy, but I still had all the same challenges I had to face. Most Aspies aren't diagnosed at all. Does the world think we're weird on purpose, if we don't have a diagnosis? My fiancée always jokes that when he was young, Asperger's was called "Shut the fuck up, geek." Why is it socially acceptable to gang up on people who are highly intelligent? Every group of Neurotypicals I encounter tends to ostracize or bully me, and I wonder why, if they can tell I'm different enough to exclude, they don't realize that I'm behaving the only was I know how and just give me the benefit of the doubt and treat me nice. Or is it that the Autism label carries a stigma to be pitied? I don't want pity. I'm the same person I was before I was slapped with the Asperger's diagnosis, and the overcompensation I sometimes encounter can be... demeaning.
The American culture seems obsessed with labels lately- black or white, gay or straight, etc. But the world contains a million shades of grey and it leaves people trying to hold on to the most socially acceptable label available, even if it's not quite the right one, because there is no doubt that people will treat you differently based on it.
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